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[inlovewithmycar]

 

 

 

 

OPEN POST FOR
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[sohoangel]

That's very flattering, but a gryffinclaw would be a lion and a raven, not the classical gryphon of mythology. And it doesn't matter, I'd argue for Hufflepuff with the Sorting Hat until it got tired of hearing me talk and sorted me accordingly.

That's going to be an intense challenge for Upstairs.

You were patient with me for a very long time, there's nothing to be sorry for, my dear.

Except for the way you spell 'anything.'

[inlovewithmycar]

arguing with an all-knowing hat 2 get ur preferred outcome? actually sounds v slytherin of u ;)

can see a few of the lower ranks being alright. the big 4 tho...

and i wasn't patient. ur worth w8ing 4.

spelling is a social construct and i am the wrecking ball of chaos

w8

i was going somewhere with that but it kind of got away from me

[sohoangel]

Oh, no, absolutely not. Ambitious is the very last word you could use to describe me.

I think Michael can manage. It took all my effort not to gawk when she showed up in Hell with a pitcher of holy water. I don't know about the other three. Do you think they're just as lost Downstairs? I mean, they must be, they lost their cleverest demon.

That is very sweet of you to say. <3 Even if you are mangling the English language, one text at a time.

[He actually doesn't mind it that much, except for 'nething'. And mostly because he tried to look it up in the dictionary before realizing what Crowley actually meant.]

[inlovewithmycar]

no but you are cunning. mind like a corkscrew. i don't think neone else could work out agnes nutter's prophecies as fast as u.

ur right. michael is the kind of wanker who tends to do alright. on my end tho? downstairs is gonna be a mess. 14th century thinkers the whole lot of them. legion is about the only one with a clue about modernity, and u should see how they treat him. aspects of the poor bastard getting thrown to the hellhounds just 4 a laff.

a shame u missed computing in the 90s and early 2000s. u should have seen when i invented 1337 5p3ak

[ Because that could only come from Crowley's own devious machinations to drive the humans utterly up the wall with inane nonsense. ]

[sohoangel]

Flatter me all you like, I refuse to be sorted into Slytherin. Let me stay in Huffleclaw with you. We're on our own side, remember?

Let's hope they keep their messes to themselves, then. I don't want to spend any more time thinking about them and their problems than I have to. We're retired, we should enjoy ourselves.

[Guaranteed to drive a certain angel up the wall, as well.]

Did your phone just have a glitch? All I see are random letters and numbers.

[inlovewithmycar]

someone ought to flatter u. lots of flattering things about u to remark on. and i agree, couple of ravenpuffs, the two of us. tbf the entire sorting thing is a load of bollocks neway. how does a tatty old hat know the deep-rooted values of a bunch of 11 yr olds who haven't even had their first algebra class yet? j/s seems a bit dodgy u know, having a hat rooting around in kids brains? i'd probably call child services.

if they do show up, we'll just come up w/ another clever ruse 2 scare the piss out of them and send them packing.

lmfao angel it's probably 4 the best u don't know. the dark ages of computing, terrible times, so much glow-in-the-dark lipstick it was definitely not a look 4 me

[sohoangel]

Only if that someone is you, and only if I am allowed to flatter you in return.

Of course a hat can't know any of that. The whole sorting business saves Rowling the effort of proper characterization. She can have all the "bad" characters in one house with a few exceptions as plot twists.

Well, I wouldn't mind switching bodies with you again, if it comes down to it. Regardless, I won't let them touch you.

What does glow-in-the-dark lipstick have to do with anything? And don't sell yourself short, I'll bet you looked nice.

[inlovewithmycar]

flatter all u like, u know i love it ;)

angel r u implying that people are complicated? and defined by more than one trait ??? and that what counts as brave, loyal, clever etc. r all extremely subjective concepts? also j/s hufflepuffs got utterly short changed. the only interesting one died and turned into the worst vampire ever

u know u can inhabit my body any time. and likewise, i won't let them get get their dirty hands on u.

i didn't. dayglo green does nothing 4 my complexion and the hair extensions + wires were a Mistake. so so many regrets. absolutely killed it with the eyeliner tho.

[sohoangel]

I most certainly do, you charming serpent.

Not only am I implying, I am saying it outright. Or typing it, rather. They may be novels geared towards children, but that's no excuse to simplify characters to only one or two qualities. And yes, Hufflepuffs are barely acknowledged, except I don't remember any of them turning into a vampire?

Is it your turn to be implying something, dear? We'll keep each other safe. It's been my highest priority for centuries.

I am having an extremely difficult time picturing what you're describing. Wires in your hair? I'll need a photo of this to get a better sense of it.

[inlovewithmycar]

charming! oh be still my heart 💗

same actor who played the dead one in the film adaptations played the romantic lead from that teen romance with vampires about a decade back. for a time you couldn't go to any website without someone voicing one opinion or another about it.

not implying anything. dead serious - if u ever get discorporated again, ur very welcome to hop in my corporation. it might be a little cramped but i can budge up and make room.

ughhhhhhh i'll dig up the photos one day they're a laff. and u'll see what i mean about the lipstick idt anyone can pull off neon without the aid of photoshop

[sohoangel]

And clever, and handsome as well. Did I leave anything out?

Oh... the movies. [Aziraphale would insert an eye roll emoji here if he used them.] I'm aware of the vampire romance you're referring to, it was not my cup of tea.

Crowley, I wasn't kidding when I said that if I tried to possess your body, we'd probably explode. An angel and a demon's soul in one body is too dangerous. I appreciate the sentiment, though.

Jolly good! I suppose this was a very short-lived look on you as I don't remember this at all. Except perhaps the eyeliner? Or was that during your goth phase?

[inlovewithmycar]

ur the handsome one. u and ur lovely eyes

lmfao what u don't like stories about some century-old bugger standing outside a teenage girl's room and watching her sleep?

i'm not sure we would tho. when we swapped, we brushed up against each other and there weren't any sparks. at least none of the sudden spontaneous combustion of occult and ethereal beings kind. i mean, it would be a sort of emergency measure anyway. but i think we'd be alright. could always test the waters a bit.

and goth isn't a phase, angel, it's a lifestyle.

[ He may be furious with God and apathetic to Lucifer, but he thanks Mary Shelly every day for going so hard. ]

[sohoangel]

And you're a good flatterer, too. ;) Your eyes are just as lovely.

I know, amazing, isn't it? The mediocre writing doesn't help, either. Are the movies just as terrible?

[There's a noticeable pause before the next text arrives.]

Maybe we could. Test the waters, I mean. I'd be interested in touching you again without our corporations in the way.

Lifestyle, excuse me. Either way, I thought you looked good. But you always look good in eyeliner.

[inlovewithmycar]

i'm a demon, i'm supposed to flatter. i still mean it tho. and i'm glad u like them, they're only for u.

they are. not even the fun kind of terrible either. they're just sort of gray and flat, and it's clear no one actually wants to be there. hard pass absolute waste of 40£

we'll have to take it slow - just a few brushes, build from there. make sure it's something we can do if the need arises, back off if things look like they're going to go all supernova

could always bring back the eyeliner. and the long hair. and maybe the translucent black lace blouse i got to go with that coat from 1819.

[sohoangel]

Are you sure about that? The other demons seem to be rubbish at it. Although I guess they were all pretty mad at you at the time.

That's too bad. Sometimes an adaptation can salvage a paltry story. Humans have awfully questionable taste.

Yes, very slow. I absolutely don't want anything happening to you.

Now *this* I can easily imagine. If you ever fancy to bring that look out for a spin, I'd be delighted. Especially the long hair, although I wouldn't be able to resist touching it, so don't put it in any style that you wouldn't mind my hands on.

[inlovewithmycar]

i mean they are rubbish at it. miserable bunch and it shows and no one's going to be tempted by misery.

u'd think they'd take the opportunity to do something interesting - expand on something or maybe reinterpret. but nope.

we'll be alright angel. i think if our essences were incompatible, we'd know for certain by now with all the fluids we've swapped. tbh the first time round, i thought just touching u might have the same effect as consecrated ground, but nope. not even a mild rash.

aziraphale you do know there is nothing i like better than u mussing up my perfect coifs because u got ur hands in my hair rite?

[sohoangel]

I'm glad you're not there. Even if we'd never met, you were given a chance to not be miserable on Earth.

They can't all be winners. Even Will had a couple of bad ones. Remember how I had to leave halfway through Titus Andronicus?

There's a difference between our corporations and our essences, but perhaps you're right. We've touched each other's wings, and those aren't merely in the physical plane. Speaking of consecrated ground, some time soon I'd like to properly thank you for coming into that church for me.

Yes, but I wanted to give you fair warning, because I also know how much you enjoy complaining about how I've made a right mess of your hair.

[inlovewithmycar]

glad to be here too. like it better since it's here with you

i do! i was ready to give it a miss entirely but u like those gloomy plays. nearly lost my lunch a quarter of the way thru.

yeah, like i said, we'll go slow, but we should be alright. it's not like we're some entirely different species. and u don't have to thank me, not for that.

i'll complain neway bc u know i love 2 do that 2 ;) 2 birds, one stone.

[sohoangel]

Everything is better with you, dear.

I like tragedies, but that particular one was... I believe the phrase is 'torture porn'? If I'd know what we were in for, I wouldn't have talked you into going. I hope I made it up to you with a Midsummer Night's Dream. I remember you liking that one.

That's true. Switching bodies with you was far easier than possessing Marjorie, and she was a very receptive host. It might not so much be that we are an angel and a demon, but that we'd be two celestial beings in one corporation that's the true risk. We'll be careful. And I'll thank you all I want, and then some.

As long as we are both on the same page. May I braid your hair, also, if you grow it out?

[inlovewithmycar]

i do try to spice things up, yes, glad u noticed ;)

that wasn't porn, angel. i know what porn is, it's meant to titillate, not nauseate. it was just torture. but midsummer night's dream was good. liked watching it with you. we should catch a production of it again whenever u like? maybe one where we can throw things at the stage like in the old days?

my corporations pretty sturdy. passed thru a wall of fire, no problem. could probably handle getting extra cozy with u. and angel, u don't have to thank me for trying 2 apologize 2 u.

[ Somewhere, Crowley's brain actually short circuits. There's a good few minutes before he sends his next text. ]

pls do. growing my hair out rite now.

[sohoangel]

Does that make you spicy, then?

I do question who would find that titillating, but revenge plays were very popular for a time, the gorier, the better. Yes, we should see it again, but I do not want to throw anything at the stage. It's one of the things I appreciate about modern theater, although I do miss shouting encouragement to the actors.

Yes, I'm well aware of how sturdy you are. But let's not limit the scenario to me inside of your body, for all we know it might need to go the other way around. And if anyone needed to apologize, it was me, but if it makes you feel better, I'll save my gratitude for the next kind thing you do for me, which means I won't have to wait long at all. ;)

The reply is far more than worth the wait.

Wonderful. I'd been itching to, ever since the first time I saw braids in your hair.

[inlovewithmycar]

might do. bit scent blind to myself. how do i taste, actually?

u know, u might actually like interactive theatre. next time we take a trip to the states, let's stop in new york, see if we can catch a sleep no more showing.

definitely dangerous that. if i wound up in ur body, even if we eventually found a suitable replacement 4 me, i probably wouldn't want to leave. and u can thank me when i do nice things, but not for that. not for fucking off to sleep and not speaking 2 u for nearly a century.

did those myself. always liked the look. gonna wind up liking it 1000x more now.

[sohoangel]

Like one of my favorite teas, spiced with cinnamon, cardamom, and ginger. A hint of woodsmoke.

All right, if you think I'll like it. Why don't we plan a proper trip, then? We can go to New York and anywhere else we fancy.

I can't say that I would mind much, keeping you safe inside of me, although I'd miss your arms around me, among other things. And it's water under the bridge, Crowley, you weren't speaking to me but I wasn't willing to listen at the time, either. I missed you terribly, but it forced me to realize how I felt about you, and to understand what your request for holy water truly meant. I would never hold that against you.

When I see you tonight, then?

[inlovewithmycar]

good, good. i'd hoped i got the sulfur smell out - can never really be too sure. it clings for decades and decades.

newhere in particular u'd like to go? big country, lot of tempting things to get us into trouble. i always wanted to try one of those deep fried chocolate bars.

it'd be an emergency measure only. just saying, all won't be lost if we lose our earthly bodies. and i don't know what 2 say angel - u have every rite 2 be mad. i'm glad ur not, but i still could have idk actually explained anything.

yes. definitely 2nite. pls 💗💓💗💓💗💓

[sohoangel]

I can't remember the last time I smelled sulfur on you, but I might have become nose blind to it. Sandalphon once remarked on smelling something evil in my shop and it took me a good second or two to realize it was because you had been around earlier.

I think I'd like to see a bit of nature, if you don't mind? The redwoods in particular. A few of them are nearly a third of our age! We can get one of those deep fried chocolate bars along the way. Where do they make those?

So long as we still have each other.

[There's a pause before the next text.]

We've never been stellar at communicating... I mean, not until recently. I promise not to get so mad at you that I don't listen, so long as you promise not to sleep for extreme periods of time as a way of avoiding me. Deal?

Well, with all those lovely hearts you've offered me, how could I possibly say no? <3