[ No sweeter a benediction has there ever been than Aziraphale's lips. Crowley closes his eyes, releasing a deep breath. ]
Not exactly how I imagined it either. I mean, not at first. Did a lot of imagining about the other stuff though and you really blew it right out the water. Couldn't -
[ He stops mid-ramble, something in his brain clicking. He peers up at Aziraphale, caught somewhere between amused and suspicious. ]
Hang on, I thought you said you couldn't remember anything from last night...?
[Aziraphale opens and shuts his mouth once, caught off-guard by the question.]
I told you, I didn't remember much, and what I do remember is more like an impressionist painting than a photograph. But you were very, mmm...
[He blushes, thinking about the seductive way Crowley had bent over, the elastic band of his pants visible, ready for signing. If not for Crowley's warm body in his arms, he'd probably bring both hands up to cover his face in embarrassment.]
You've been flirting with me this entire time, haven't you?
[ Crowley's jaw nearly hits his chest. He doesn't just gape, he goggles. He's not sure if his mind has actually shut down or if there is such a rapid tirade of words trying to spill out that every thought is like a bit of white noise.
Of course I've been flirting with you, he thinks wildly. I've been in love with you for six thousand years and have known it for at least four thousand, I have been flirting shamelessly with you since you told me you gave your sword away - ]
That obvious, was I?
[ His voice is a hoarse croak, his tongue feels too big for his mouth, and his heart too big for his body. ]
[His eyes open again the moment he feels Crowley's warm hands on his cheeks. There's a subtle shift in his expression, the same look on his face when the demon offered his flat to stay in after Armageddon.]
I never not wanted to be with you, Crowley. No matter how hard I pushed you away at times.
[He curls up in Crowley's arms, feeling small, but secure. Their history is rife with ups and downs, but somehow all the stronger for it. Nevertheless, he makes a vow never to take any of it for granted.]
I suppose it says something about us that one sober, heartfelt conversation was finally all it took to end up here.
[ Crowley recognizes that expression, the one Aziraphale gets whenever he's realized something important or Crowley's been on his best behaviour.
Crowley wonders how it's possible to have fallen in love with someone and still be falling. ]
Oh, over the centuries I'd say we've managed one or two heartfelt conversations that were... well - maybe not sober, but were in that vicinity.
[ He smiles that crooked smile. It's one of his genuine ones, the kind where he's too busy gazing lovingly at the angel to bother trying to be dashing and debonair. It's for Aziraphale's eyes only. ]
[That tender look on Aziraphale's face remains, his eyes full of more love than can possibly be contained in a mere corporation. He reaches up to trace Crowley's soft, genuine smile before leaning in and memorizing it on his lips.]
Thank you for giving me that time, dear. I won't waste another moment of it.
[He tucks in a little closer, then grimaces at the stickiness between them. Right, no one had taken care of that... a minor miracle and they're both clean.]
[ His manipulation of time was a lingering, vestigial talent from long, long ago. A little cheat he could still pull off even diminished as he is.
He gives Aziraphale a grateful kiss and a murmured thanks when he cleans them up. Much as he'd like to luxuriate in their slippery and sticky mess, semen (or whatever facsimile they produced) all dried up was profoundly lacking in eroticism. ]
You look very comfortable, sweetheart. Feel like trying for a nap?
[Aziraphale doesn't mind a little mess, but if they're going to be lying here for a while, he'd rather not have their skin get all tacky. He settles against Crowley with a content sigh.]
I am very comfortable.
[The most comfortable he's been since... well, ever. He glances at Crowley sidelong, considering his suggestion.]
I've never taken a nap before...
[Although if there ever was a time for it, it would be now. Physically sated and emotionally wrung out, but in a good way. It's a lot of work to tear down so many emotional barriers. He pets Crowley's hair, then slides a hand down his lithe frame.]
I'll give it a try, my dear. And even if I don't fall asleep, I'll stay here with you as long as you'd like.
[ Crowley's expression goes very peculiar. He looks quite happy, but, as always, there's that tinge of melancholy. ]
You know, I dreamed about waking up next to you a couple times. Sun streaming in and you looking all radiant in some flannel pyjamas and a fluffy dressing gown.
[ He strokes along Aziraphale's cheek, ever so fondly. ]
You'd be cooing at a spider plant, spoiling it and giving it ideas above it's station, and I'd go and make us breakfast, and then we'd hunker down in bed, eating toast and getting crumbs everywhere.
[ It feels good to say it, to finally be completely honest about his feelings for Aziraphale, to tell the angel exactly what he's always wanted, and hoping Aziraphale will be on the same page as him on this as well. ]
That - can we have that too? Is that something you'd like?
[There's a flicker of concern on the angel's face when he spots that lingering melancholy, but it quickly melts away, replaced with soft wonder as Crowley confesses to the most domestic of fantasies. It's the kind of love that's forgotten among the confessions and grand gestures, and he finds that his heart aches over the want of it. Not only for himself, but for the chance to give it to Crowley in return.]
I can't think of anything I would like more. Every morning, if that suits you.
[He nuzzles Crowley's cheek, placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth. When he pulls back, there is an amused twinkle in his eyes.]
But I'd like to skip the pajamas, if that's all right. At least this first time around.
[ Crowley lights up. Really brilliant this whole love thing. He could just say whatever he'd been feeling for ages, only to find Aziraphale really had wanted the same things all along.
Propping himself up, he trails his knuckles up and down Aziraphale's side, that ridiculous grin still on his face. ]
Right. Every day then. Pyjamas optional.
[ He suspected they were probably weren't going to be wearing much in in the weeks to come. ]
Toast optional as well. I suspect you'd like to mix it up a bit. Eggs, bacon, pastries, sausage. Could never get behind sausage m'self; too many mysteries in the meat.
[Aziraphale smiles up at him, content to remain nestled in their pile of pillows, one hand drawing lazy shapes across his narrow chest.]
Sounds lovely.
[There's no café in London that could possibly top breakfast in bed with Crowley. A convenient miracle can take care of any crumbs. Speaking of which, a rather thoughtful expression appears on the angel's face as Crowley lists their options.]
You know what would be a nice treat? Pancakes. The fluffy kind that the Americans like. I haven't had any since we worked for the Dowlings.
[ Loving Aziraphale comes naturally, it seems. Even though one might think this should have changed everything, Crowley is realizing that this was just an extension of a long dance they'd been doing for centuries. Another gradual change, another new step, but still to the same beat.
The world hasn't turned upside down, but rather, it feels like they finally have their feet on solid ground. ]
You know, we could test little Warlock's assessment that I make 'the best pancakes in the whole wide world'. The boy might have been on to something. Or he was just trying to butter me up so I'd buy him those really violent video games his mother didn't want him playing.
[This is the kind of love that Aziraphale thought he'd never get to have, the kind that's expressed in kisses and cuddles and plans for breakfast. The kind that doesn't have to hide out of sight and bury itself under subtle glances and heavy sighs.
He laughs a little at Crowley's anecdote.]
We're lucky he wasn't really the anti-christ, you know, he would have sold us all up the river for video games. But I'm more than willing to be your guinea pig. I'll bet they're scrumptious.
[Aziraphale tucks his head against Crowley's shoulder, preferring that to the pillows.]
Oh, I'm sure I'll manage. So long as you don't make me that artificially-colored macaroni and cheese from a box.
[He shudders at the memory of all those blue and yellow boxes stacked up in the Dowling's pantry before tilting his head just enough to kiss Crowley's chin.]
Now, then. Best you rest up now, you have an angel to feed in the morning.
[Aziraphale knows that tone, but he'll let it slide this time. If Crowley can somehow make boxed macaroni and cheese suit the angel's palate, more power to him.]
I will. Oh, and Crowley?
[His tone is as soft and warm as the rest of him.]
Don't worry about going too fast. I think I've managed to finally catch up.
[ It's reassuring to know he isn't too much, that he hadn't pushed too hard or too soon, and it hits Crowley in a way he doesn't quite expect when he hears it. There's that relief, yes, but even more, he felt a rush of of exhilaration. He grins, face aching from never having smiled this much, and thumbs Aziraphale's cheek. ]
You know, I think you're right.
[ Crowley pauses, his grin softening into a smile. ]
But if you need me to put on the brakes for anything at all, you just say the word. No judgment, no questions asked.
[ Well, maybe some questions asked. The kinds along the lines of 'you okay' and 'do you want to talk about it' seemed innocuous enough. But Crowley felt like this needed to be said in broad strokes. He didn't want to push Aziraphale into something he wasn't ready for. ]
[Aziraphale's smile is demure and not-so-secretly pleased by Crowley's reply. He's wanted to be this close for ages, but for so long it was only wishful thinking on his part. Finally, he's brave enough.
He's never been so happy.
Not wanting to move from his cozy spot, he nuzzles a kiss into the crook of Crowley's neck, arms squeezing him reassuringly.]
Of course, dearest. I trust you. And the same goes for you.
[Crowley may insist that he's a demon with very few boundaries, but Aziraphale does not want to open any old wounds with careless words or assumptions.]
[ There are no words for the joy Crowley feels when Aziraphale trusts him. A laugh escapes him as he gives the angel a tight hug. It's probably the snake part of him that has the demon trying to wrap every limb around Aziraphale's body at once. ]
I know you'd never push. Besides, I'm pretty vocal about when I don't want something.
[ Crowley could be just as stubborn and obstinate as Aziraphale at times. But Crowley highly doubts there's anything Aziraphale could offer that he'd ever refuse. ]
[The angel's soft body is perfect for that kind of hugging, and the angel himself is most pleased by Crowley's snake-like cuddle, if his content sigh is any indication. He'd happily cuddle Crowley while he was a snake, too, but one thing at a time.]
Oh, believe me, dear, I know.
[He says it fondly, recalling the string of incoherent syllables that Crowley likes to spit out whenever he suggests going to a book auction or a "gloomy" play. Arguing over such petty things is more for the fun of it than anything.]
All the same, this is very new for me. And I want to do right by you, as best I can.
[ Crowley has always liked the softness of Aziraphale's physique. There's something about that's always suited the angel, in the same way whatever form Crowley takes, there's always a long, stretched quality to him. It just feels right to be a certain way.
He hums contentedly, nuzzling into the crown of Aziraphale's head. ]
It's all pretty new for me too. There's a lot for us to get used to, so don't be afraid of getting it wrong, yeah?
[ He knew they both had their issues in that department. Six thousand years of conditioning was going to be tough to break. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Not exactly how I imagined it either. I mean, not at first. Did a lot of imagining about the other stuff though and you really blew it right out the water. Couldn't -
[ He stops mid-ramble, something in his brain clicking. He peers up at Aziraphale, caught somewhere between amused and suspicious. ]
Hang on, I thought you said you couldn't remember anything from last night...?
no subject
I told you, I didn't remember much, and what I do remember is more like an impressionist painting than a photograph. But you were very, mmm...
[He blushes, thinking about the seductive way Crowley had bent over, the elastic band of his pants visible, ready for signing. If not for Crowley's warm body in his arms, he'd probably bring both hands up to cover his face in embarrassment.]
You've been flirting with me this entire time, haven't you?
no subject
Of course I've been flirting with you, he thinks wildly. I've been in love with you for six thousand years and have known it for at least four thousand, I have been flirting shamelessly with you since you told me you gave your sword away - ]
That obvious, was I?
[ His voice is a hoarse croak, his tongue feels too big for his mouth, and his heart too big for his body. ]
no subject
It's probably more accurate to say that I was just that oblivious.
[His voice comes out timid and tremulous, and when he finally brings himself to look at Crowley, there are tears in his eyes.]
If I... if I dared to let myself think you wanted me... the thought of being wrong and ruining our friendship...
[He shuts his eyes and sighs.]
I'm sorry. I should have noticed sooner.
no subject
I know, angel. You don't have to apologize. Not for needing time or space or any of it. I'm the one who shouldn't have pushed so hard.
[ He presses a gentle kiss to Aziraphale's nose. ]
Anyway, it'd take a lot for me to ever stop thinking of you as my best friend. That was never in jeopardy from you.
no subject
I never not wanted to be with you, Crowley. No matter how hard I pushed you away at times.
[He curls up in Crowley's arms, feeling small, but secure. Their history is rife with ups and downs, but somehow all the stronger for it. Nevertheless, he makes a vow never to take any of it for granted.]
I suppose it says something about us that one sober, heartfelt conversation was finally all it took to end up here.
no subject
Crowley wonders how it's possible to have fallen in love with someone and still be falling. ]
Oh, over the centuries I'd say we've managed one or two heartfelt conversations that were... well - maybe not sober, but were in that vicinity.
[ He smiles that crooked smile. It's one of his genuine ones, the kind where he's too busy gazing lovingly at the angel to bother trying to be dashing and debonair. It's for Aziraphale's eyes only. ]
We just needed time, that's all.
no subject
Thank you for giving me that time, dear. I won't waste another moment of it.
[He tucks in a little closer, then grimaces at the stickiness between them. Right, no one had taken care of that... a minor miracle and they're both clean.]
no subject
[ His manipulation of time was a lingering, vestigial talent from long, long ago. A little cheat he could still pull off even diminished as he is.
He gives Aziraphale a grateful kiss and a murmured thanks when he cleans them up. Much as he'd like to luxuriate in their slippery and sticky mess, semen (or whatever facsimile they produced) all dried up was profoundly lacking in eroticism. ]
You look very comfortable, sweetheart. Feel like trying for a nap?
no subject
I am very comfortable.
[The most comfortable he's been since... well, ever. He glances at Crowley sidelong, considering his suggestion.]
I've never taken a nap before...
[Although if there ever was a time for it, it would be now. Physically sated and emotionally wrung out, but in a good way. It's a lot of work to tear down so many emotional barriers. He pets Crowley's hair, then slides a hand down his lithe frame.]
I'll give it a try, my dear. And even if I don't fall asleep, I'll stay here with you as long as you'd like.
no subject
You know, I dreamed about waking up next to you a couple times. Sun streaming in and you looking all radiant in some flannel pyjamas and a fluffy dressing gown.
[ He strokes along Aziraphale's cheek, ever so fondly. ]
You'd be cooing at a spider plant, spoiling it and giving it ideas above it's station, and I'd go and make us breakfast, and then we'd hunker down in bed, eating toast and getting crumbs everywhere.
[ It feels good to say it, to finally be completely honest about his feelings for Aziraphale, to tell the angel exactly what he's always wanted, and hoping Aziraphale will be on the same page as him on this as well. ]
That - can we have that too? Is that something you'd like?
[ His very own domestic demon? ]
no subject
I can't think of anything I would like more. Every morning, if that suits you.
[He nuzzles Crowley's cheek, placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth. When he pulls back, there is an amused twinkle in his eyes.]
But I'd like to skip the pajamas, if that's all right. At least this first time around.
no subject
Propping himself up, he trails his knuckles up and down Aziraphale's side, that ridiculous grin still on his face. ]
Right. Every day then. Pyjamas optional.
[ He suspected they were probably weren't going to be wearing much in in the weeks to come. ]
Toast optional as well. I suspect you'd like to mix it up a bit. Eggs, bacon, pastries, sausage. Could never get behind sausage m'self; too many mysteries in the meat.
no subject
Sounds lovely.
[There's no café in London that could possibly top breakfast in bed with Crowley. A convenient miracle can take care of any crumbs. Speaking of which, a rather thoughtful expression appears on the angel's face as Crowley lists their options.]
You know what would be a nice treat? Pancakes. The fluffy kind that the Americans like. I haven't had any since we worked for the Dowlings.
no subject
The world hasn't turned upside down, but rather, it feels like they finally have their feet on solid ground. ]
You know, we could test little Warlock's assessment that I make 'the best pancakes in the whole wide world'. The boy might have been on to something. Or he was just trying to butter me up so I'd buy him those really violent video games his mother didn't want him playing.
no subject
He laughs a little at Crowley's anecdote.]
We're lucky he wasn't really the anti-christ, you know, he would have sold us all up the river for video games. But I'm more than willing to be your guinea pig. I'll bet they're scrumptious.
no subject
[ He grins, settling back down so he can wrap Aziraphale up snug in his arms. ]
It might be a bit much for your refined tastes.
no subject
Oh, I'm sure I'll manage. So long as you don't make me that artificially-colored macaroni and cheese from a box.
[He shudders at the memory of all those blue and yellow boxes stacked up in the Dowling's pantry before tilting his head just enough to kiss Crowley's chin.]
Now, then. Best you rest up now, you have an angel to feed in the morning.
no subject
[ He says in that innocent way of his that suggests he is absolutely scheming the best way to get Aziraphale to eat a boxed abomination to cuisine.
Settling in, Crowley snuggles close, draping an arm and leg over Aziraphale. ]
Wake me when you get a bit peckish then, love. Or any other appetites I might be able to sate. You know me, pedal to the metal, always ready to go.
no subject
I will. Oh, and Crowley?
[His tone is as soft and warm as the rest of him.]
Don't worry about going too fast. I think I've managed to finally catch up.
no subject
You know, I think you're right.
[ Crowley pauses, his grin softening into a smile. ]
But if you need me to put on the brakes for anything at all, you just say the word. No judgment, no questions asked.
[ Well, maybe some questions asked. The kinds along the lines of 'you okay' and 'do you want to talk about it' seemed innocuous enough. But Crowley felt like this needed to be said in broad strokes. He didn't want to push Aziraphale into something he wasn't ready for. ]
no subject
He's never been so happy.
Not wanting to move from his cozy spot, he nuzzles a kiss into the crook of Crowley's neck, arms squeezing him reassuringly.]
Of course, dearest. I trust you. And the same goes for you.
[Crowley may insist that he's a demon with very few boundaries, but Aziraphale does not want to open any old wounds with careless words or assumptions.]
no subject
I know you'd never push. Besides, I'm pretty vocal about when I don't want something.
[ Crowley could be just as stubborn and obstinate as Aziraphale at times. But Crowley highly doubts there's anything Aziraphale could offer that he'd ever refuse. ]
no subject
Oh, believe me, dear, I know.
[He says it fondly, recalling the string of incoherent syllables that Crowley likes to spit out whenever he suggests going to a book auction or a "gloomy" play. Arguing over such petty things is more for the fun of it than anything.]
All the same, this is very new for me. And I want to do right by you, as best I can.
no subject
He hums contentedly, nuzzling into the crown of Aziraphale's head. ]
It's all pretty new for me too. There's a lot for us to get used to, so don't be afraid of getting it wrong, yeah?
[ He knew they both had their issues in that department. Six thousand years of conditioning was going to be tough to break. ]
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From: